Eating

I just got 3 bags of snack lentils – yes, that’s a thing. They are cooked in a way that makes them crunchy like a chip, and massively filling. They are still very little because they are lentils – so you can eat them one at a time or by the spoonful. It’s weird, like eating Cheetos with a spoon. It got me thinking about why I would eat baked lentils and not just eat cheetos, and about the conundrum of eating at all in 2023.

I am a middle aged woman so eating is a whole new level from where it was when I was in my 20s. All my friends talk about healthy eating (diets) or movement (exercise) all the time. The shape of our bodies, and I mean the literal shape, is very important. Square, triangle, apple, pear, it matters and I give a lot of brainspace to it. I just read the book Vladimir by Julia May Jones and the protagonist talks about not drinking alcohol before 9 PM to save calories. I’ve thought like that and the issue is big.

So now there are shots that may fuck up your thyroid but also cause you to feel satisfied. Satisfied! A whole new level. I have to wonder what would happen if we lived in a society where we didn’t judge people based on their looks. For real, I just spent some actual time trying to imagine it. It’s so ingrained in us it’s hard to imagine, but it felt good. I wonder what would change. Would many of us still feel unsatisfied?

I know it’s less healthy to be obese, but it’s surprisingly possible to be fat and healthy, and this is a message someone is keeping from us. Who? And what does it matter to them? For me, I will fight for self-acceptance first, which leads to taking care of my precious physical body because it is my conduit to life. And I will eat enough to make it happy.